SOTT Exclusive: Ukraine 'information army' fail


mind bullets

I reported on Ukraine's new 'information army' last month, here. Launched by Kiev's Ministry of Information Policy to combat the alleged "Russian occupation on the information front", it's hard to decide whether to laugh or cry.

While the source in that article says the number of recruits for the first day couldn't have topped 13,000, in the eyes of Ukraine's minister of information policy Yury Stenets, that's close enough for horseshoes to 35,000. For some strange reason, in Kiev a small or non-existent number (like the number of Russian troops in Ukraine) is always large, while a large number (like the number of their troops killed or wounded in action) is always small.


In a 'country' whose media has led the vanguard in total disconnection from reality - presenting outright lie after outright lie as indisputable truth - it's still a shock to read something like the following from Stenets:



We are not going to create fake news, we are not going to talk nonsense and we will not speak untrue things. As soon as one starts doing that, it becomes ineffective.



Puhleeze! But then, he's kind of right. So far, Kiev's policy of just making shit up has proven itself to be totally ineffective. Their ass-like stubbornness against publicly admitting that thousands of their troops were trapped in Debaltsevo resulted in the loss of the vast majority of their heavy weaponry there, not to mention the deaths of thousands of the troops. (But Kiev doesn't care much about the troops - that's why they had troops to kill the troops trying to escape from the non-existent cauldron. Just more cannon fodder in the epic battle against evil Russia.)
i-army

© Інформаційна війська України on Facebook

Valiant information warrior defends himself against the truth, chanting the holy mantra "There are no Nazis in Ukraine. There are no Nazis in Ukraine."



Kiev's new 'information troops' are primarily tasked with helping journalists "report truthfully" about the conflict, as well as engaging with others (including pro-Russian activists) on social media and news comment sections. Their official motto: "Every post you make is a bullet to the mind of the enemy". That's right. When you lost your weapons and ammo to a militia composed primarily of ex-miners, and the U.S. drags its feet replacing them for you, it's the logical next step: telekinetic mind bullets. Tenacious D would be jealous.

But honestly, loyal Ukrainians, your country needs you to fight this propaganda war against the Kremlin. And you can take heart in the knowledge that your glorious leaders in the Rada are doing their part too. Just yesterday, for example, closet homosexual and tough guy Radical Party Leader Oleg Lyashko - who also enjoys black-bagging 'traitors' and torturing them - was working hard for your rights by checking out a topless image of the "hottest criminal alive" Jeremy Meeks.



Sadly though, despite the epic scale of first-day recruits, the response so far has been pretty lame:

Ukrainian social media users were immediately suspicious of the site and speculations about whether it was real or fake ran rampant. Media requests for comment to the Ministry went unanswered. Many users were understandably skeptical.







If "Ukraine's Information Army" isn't a joke, then it's really, really sad.







- Did you do your homework?

- Mom, I have an important task from the information army headquarters!







MinStets [] is creating an information army. For a start, the enemy has to burst from laughter.



After a lackluster start, Minitrue sent out an online press-release stating their mission:

to fight "Russian bots, spreading fakes, informational and psychological pressure from Russian media" and notes the Minister hopes that the new project "will help mobilize a number of volunteers to spread the truth and expose Russian fakes."



Someone should tell these guys the only Russian fakes are the ones Poroshenko keeps hallucinating in Donetsk and Lugansk.

But Kiev may just get what they've been asking for: a little help with their 'truthful' reporting. Seeing this effort for the joke that it is, people are joining up, but not for the reasons its creators envisioned. Many just want a laugh or two (like J. Hawk from Fort Russ, whom I quoted in my previous article). And this guy:






Just for fun I'm joining the information forces. Let's see what kind of combat tasks they give us.



Yep, Ukraine's cheap Hasbara-imitation attempt to create an army of Internet trolls is already being trolled. And the instructions they are sending are laughable:

Users who subscribed on the website have already received several emails from the "Internet Army" command, informing them of the first tasks they had to perform. Those include recruiting their friends and followers to sign up on the website and leaving comments under news stories on "pro-Kremlin" Russian news websites like LifeNews. The emails also provide advice on dealing with "Kremlin trolls" (never try to argue with them) and warn users against sharing news from Russian websites ("they are all controlled by the Kremlin").



Good advice! When dealing with Ukrainian trolls, don't argue with them. For them, black is white, war is peace, humiliating defeat and retreat is 'planned strategic withdrawal', and Russians are everywhere. And don't share news from Ukrainian websites or social media. They are all controlled by Kiev, like this very i-army project. And even Ukrainians see through :

The Ministry of Information Policy, itself a recent addition to the Ukrainian government, had a rocky start in January when it was dubbed the Ministry of Truth by the Ukrainian public. Many think it is an unnecessary waste of budget funds and an attempt to further curtail freedom of speech in Ukraine.



So warn your friends. And next time you encounter a Ukrainian troll, be sure to ask if he has received his secret Russian transmission decoder ring from the Ministry.


Avatar

Harrison Koehli (Profile)


Harrison Koehli hails from Edmonton, Alberta. A graduate of studies in music performance, Harrison is also an editor for Red Pill Press and has been interviewed on several North American radio shows in recognition of his contributions to advancing the study of ponerology. In addition to music and books, Harrison enjoys tobacco and bacon (often at the same time) and dislikes cell phones, vegetables, and fascists.



Categories: